I Ignored My Emotions to Keep the Peace—It Only Left Me Feeling Lost
“I’m fine”
I used to think ignoring my emotions was the best way to keep the peace.
When my feelings felt overwhelming, I’d shove them aside, hoping they’d just disappear. But they didn’t. Instead, those unacknowledged emotions built walls inside—leaving me anxious, disconnected, and constantly questioning myself.
Unfelt emotions became the unstable foundation my relationships were built on.
What are emotions
Emotions are chemical reactions in your body.
When we allow these reactions to flow, they usually last no more than 90 seconds. But in my early 20s, I rarely allowed that. Instead, my mind would kick in, trying to “rationalize” my feelings—or worse, I’d tell myself (and everyone around me), “I’m fine.”
All I was doing was storing the emotion for later.
Emotions are like birthday cake
If you ate birthday cake for every meal, your body wouldn’t use all those extra calories.
What isn’t burned off gets stored, adding pounds to your frame. Emotions work the same way. When we suppress them, intellectualize them, or project them onto others, our emotions don’t disappear. They stay inside us, waiting for the day we finally allow them to be felt.
Just like calories, emotions must be metabolized to be let go.
Steve’s experience
I had a client—we’ll call him Steve—who taught me a lot about this.
Steve grew up with a father whose anger was a constant presence. It often came out as physical and verbal abuse. Anger was passed down through generations in Steve’s family.
His father was an angry man; his grandfather was an angry man.
Wanting to break the cycle, Steve vowed never to express his anger the way his father did. Instead, he suppressed it, buried it deep, and convinced himself it didn’t exist. Over the years, that suppressed anger took residence in Steve’s body.
It showed up as physical pain in his stomach, an ache that wouldn’t go away.
Steve came to me because he wanted love in his life, but he was emotionally unavailable to receive it. He feared being vulnerable with a partner, believing they might hurt him like his father had.
He had no idea that the anger he carried—the anger he denied—was at the root of his emotional disconnection.
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Feel it to heal it
Emotions demand to be felt.
Whether they started with you or were passed down from generations before, suppressed emotions long to be acknowledged. Denying them only prolongs their existence. Telling yourself “I’m fine” when you’re not is a form of self-gaslighting.
The first step in burning off stored emotions is noticing them.
How to start
The next time a feeling arises, simply notice it.
Say its name aloud: “I feel (emotion).”
Example: “I feel sad.”
Then, tune into your body. What do you feel physically? Where does that emotion live in you?
Say that out loud: “I feel (sensation) in my (body location).”
Example: “I feel heaviness in my throat.”
Put in the reps
Stop gaslighting yourself. Start feeling.
Just like losing weight requires consistent effort, releasing stored emotions requires consistent acknowledgment.
When I began this journey, it changed my life and my relationships.
No longer weighed down by the emotions of my past, I was finally able to build relationships on a solid foundation of love and authenticity.
You can do this too.
I have a new masterclass coming out: Riding Your Emotional Wave.
This masterclass is designed to help you stop running from your emotions and start understanding them. Through awareness, tools for emotional regulation, and practical strategies, you'll learn how to stop overthinking, respond instead of react, and communicate with clarity and confidence.
Say goodbye to emotional suppression and projection and hello to emotional liberation, healthier relationships, and a deeper connection with yourself.
*Stay tuned for more info!