162: Losing Strategy #1: Fighting to Be Right (And Why It's Wrecking Your Communication)

You know you’re right.

You have the facts.

So you explain, you defend, you prove your point.

And somehow, the fight gets worse.

In this episode, Lilly kicks off a 5-part series on losing strategies in communication. She breaks down the first losing strategy: fighting to be right. You’ll learn how prioritizing being right over being connected turns conflict into competition, how your nervous system hijacks this pattern, and what to do instead.

This episode is for you if you find yourself arguing to win instead of understand, if you interrupt or talk over your partner to prove your point, or if you hold onto resentment even after you’ve “agreed” because you still think you’re right.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What fighting to be right actually is and why it damages connection

• How this losing strategy shows up in your nervous system (fight vs freeze)

• The behaviors that come with fighting to be right (interrupting, fact-checking, pouncing on mistakes)

• Why conflict becomes you versus her instead of both of you versus the problem

• Where this strategy came from and what it’s protecting

• The questions to ask yourself when you feel the need to be right

• How to shift from “How do I win?” to “Can I be curious instead of correct?”

• Why a wise nervous system chooses safety over superiority

This episode is for you if:

• You find yourself arguing to win instead of understand

• You interrupt or rehearse your counterpoints while your partner is talking

• You hold onto resentment even after you’ve agreed because you still think you’re right

• You want to stop creating winners and losers in your relationship

Connect with Lilly:

Men, Join UNDEFEATED (FREE 3 Day Intensive FOR MEN, Dec 8, 9, and 10, 6pm CT): Learn how to break losing strategies and build connection instead of competition. Comment LEAD on Instagram or click the link in show notes.

Work 1 on 1 with Lilly: support@lillyrachels.com

This is part 1 of a 5 part series on losing strategies in communication.

---